Babies get into things. Toddlers get into things. Why? Because things are new and exciting. They are curious about the world around them. I beg you not to try to stifle that curious demeanor and instead control the environment your child plays within. It is not their fault you allowed them in a non-kid zone, they want to learn and explore, they have no idea about danger or fragility. When the time comes, you will teach them about dangerous and fragile things, but until they are old enough to even understand those concepts, you help them be safe by being smart yourself.

I was recently over at tiny r(E)volution talking baby with Andrew. (On a totally side-note, I rather enjoy hanging out over there! I’ll share my tiny dream with all of you soon, but not today. Andrew and Crystal are some pretty awesome green people and I think all of our readers would enjoy their less than conventional lifestyle!) We had a good laugh about non-toys and I plan to share our top 10 toys that aren’t exactly toys.

 

Number 10 – Charger Cords

I know exactly what you are thinking, what an awful mother I am. Well you know what? That may be partially true, but it’s not like I let him light up like a Christmas tree. In fact, I don’t let him play with this item. This is one of those covert sneaky baby tactic operations he runs while I look at something else for 15 seconds. If it’s ever plugged in, it’s not in a place he can reach it. Usually he finds this “toy” strung over the arm of the couch after a synching.

Number 9 – Cups

Once upon a time, we had a roommate. And this roommate loved icee’s. So she would bring home those GIANT collector icee cups with images from the popular thing at the time. Once, we left one within reach. I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

Number 8 – Empty Pouches

This is our baby crack. I can only assume because once he has sucked all the magical yummyness out, it compels him to play with the package! Nothing like garbage to keep kiddos entertained… *I have other options now instead of using these and being wasteful, but that’s another post.*

Number 7 – DVD’s

So, let’s say I’m not always the most organized of people. In a hurry most of the time, I just lay DVD’s on our TV stand when swapping them out. Here is where I recommend you TAKE THE TIME TO PUT THEM AWAY. We have a few scratched up DVD’s thanks to our curious little cutie. Not a big deal, as they still seem to work, but I would rather not allow money to go down the toilet on ruined movies. I mean, I need to watch Cars 100,000 more times in my life. (No, I’m not kidding.)

Number 6 – Colander

This toy is the result of a recent move. We had our box of random kitchen stuff (that is harm-free) as part of our impromptu barrier to keep Rogh from hurting himself during the craziness. He dragged it out and since I found one in our new place, I let him keep it for now. He collects his other “real” toys in it, sings to his reflection (ours is silver inside) and I help him wear it as a hat.

Number 5 – Pots and Pans Lids

As I explained above… Our lids look sort of like this. He mostly pushed them around the living room, but once we got settled in, I took them away. I need them!!

Number 4 – Remotes

One of the rather pesky nontoys in Roghan’s collection. Nothing like being completely engrossed in a documentary, having it turn off part way through, not realizing what caused it until you realize the remote that was in your lap is now in the hands of the small child snuggling you and completely missing some pertinent piece of information. We have taken to just removing the batteries once we have settled on a movie or whatever, so he can play with the remotes all he wants. *As I type this, he is offering the “random remote” to the ceiling fan gods with a chant of his own design.”

Number 3 – Paper Napkins

Quite possibly the worst of all nontoys. This magnificent creation (please, listen to the sarcasm in my voice) is by far the worst offender. I could broaden this one and say anything PAPER is awful as far as nontoys. Why you ask? Because the miniature human living in my house thinks he should make it be in the smallest possible collection of pieces ever. Rip. Rip. Rip. Then he wants to eat them. So I have to fish it out of his mouth. I would say some is alright, but he would eat a whole stack of napkins if I let him…

Number 2 – Smart Phones

Nothing like watching your kid chew on your $600 phone. I have a crapple, so I truly don’t mind. I hand over that annoying piece of technology whenever he wants it. As a result, I have lost some of my hearing capabilities. I pretty much have to have it on speaker phone to hear anything, but honestly I think I may have done that before he was even born. Regardless, nothing like a light up noisy distraction. I put on music, lock the screen and let him at it. He really enjoys it; enjoys banging it on the wall, dropping it on the hard floors and gnawing on it as if it’s going out of style.

Number 1 – Glasses

This may not apply to you, but if it does… Oh. My. Goodness. This is my least favorite of his nontoys.  I NEED THESE TO FUNCTION. My eyesight is like twenty/5 million.  Curious little hands could care less. The worst part about this? I always try to catch him before he rips them off of my face which equals bent and/or broken spectacles. That blows. I guess they are kind of cool, I mean it is a part of mom’s face that COMES OFF. I would be pretty darn persistently curious as well…

So what have I missed? What nontoys do your little ones play with? Anything that gets you dirty looks from strangers?

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