We are here. Trying to decide when. When to add to our family. And let me tell you, it’s no easy place to be. There are so many things we have to take into account… We are officially to our mark. The mark we had decided would be a good place to talk and make a decision. Our little baby is now one. Plus, he walks. Both were stipulations on the talk. Our hearts are telling us to go ahead, it is the perfect time! But our minds are holding us back.

There were some other “rules” we had discussed about having another baby, and well… They simply are not yet adhered to. Most of the list contains things for me, the ol’ husband isn’t such a stickler, much more easy going than I. We had discussed not having a roommate, having a car that we could grow with, my weight being in proper order, having a job that provides health insurance, not living in our current hometown. Currently, we have only added a car to our baby making resume. We both want the next pregnancy to be very different from Roghan’s and hopefully easier on the both of us.

Number one on the list is weight loss. I cannot be the unhappy person I was last time. A major part of my discomfort was my weight and I would like to avoid that this time. A cute round belly wouldn’t be so bad either. Mainly I wish to thin out before the next baby because I developed a sudden onset of pre-eclampsia in my 38th week of pregnancy, resulting in an induction and a rather traumatic experience. My OB told me it could have been because I was a first time mom, but it could also have been my weight. In my attempts avoid such an experience, it is a MUST that I be in shape. I mean, I cannot be a first time mom again, so let’s cut my risk some more.

Do not misunderstand me. I LOVE my best friend. She was our roomie for nearly 2 years. It’s just a lot changed in 2 years, making me wish we lived on our own. Travis and I didn’t get to experience our pregnancy on that intimate level because we shared a home. It’s hard to explain, but I just really wished we had gotten to have that experience as a couple. I wish I could have confided in my friend about how being pregnant was, instead of her having front row seats to the show. We have since separated from our roommate, but we have acquired another, much to my dismay. Hopefully we will figure out this arrangement soon so we can FINALLY be our own little family. One without having other people involved on a constant basis… *sigh* How wonderful that would be.

Travis’ job does not provide insurance. It’s a small company and totally understandable. Doesn’t make it suck any less. Lucky for me, I can remain on my mom’s insurance for another 4 years. And her insurance kicks butt on typical pregnancy care costs. But, I want a homebirth and a midwife next time; which isn’t covered on her insurance. So we are seeking our own plan that would help the cost as Travis does not wish to leave his current job. That also means we are sort of stuck right here in our hometown. A place of loathing and seething hatred for me… We are going to look into moving into one of the small towns in the area, but for now, we are here.

I so look forward to the day I will be comfortable getting pregnant again. It just looks so far away at this point. And that sucks. I admit that if we have not remedied these situations by October, we will probably begin to be less preventative. We want our children to be close together in age, for their own relationships with one another. To me that is one of the most important things in all of this, so we have to work hard to ensure we are where we want to be by then.

When did you decide to TTC? What goals did you have in mind before you added another child to your family?